he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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