What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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