What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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