btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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