no. you can't hotbox the world.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
