why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize