In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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