I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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