No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
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You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize