i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
