Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
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Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
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YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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