My Higher Power is John Stamos
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
