Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
foreskin is a definite game changer
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
