Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm determined to sit on that face.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
