I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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