My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize