We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize