I will die if light touches me.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin