Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on