u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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