so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.