If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
