He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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