This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
