I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize