Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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