Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
