she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
