I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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