His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
