i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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