What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
