I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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