its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
