the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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