Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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