True but thats because hes a fetus.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
