i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
