the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
