and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Randomize
