would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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