Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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