Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just had sex bonerless
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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