Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
