this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
just found out that she named her cat after me.
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Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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