I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm bleeding and have questions
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize