If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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