i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
4 words: hood of his car
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
