Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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