I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
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Did I show you my penis last night?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
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He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?