ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
