i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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