There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
