we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
