Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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