my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
