office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
