I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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